Selfishness

Definition of Selfish: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

A bad habit of selfishness needs to be broken in our home. We are all guilty of it, including myself. It is a lot harder to see when you are the one that is being this way. Unfortunately, it is far after the fact (if at all) when I realize I was being that way. Seeing others act that way....hurts my heart and makes me angry. Especially when those acting that way are close to me.

"Be kind and considerate to others", "How do you think that would make so&so feel", "use respectful tones", "The world doesn't revolve around you"....I've said all these things and more till I'm blue in the face. It is met with deep sighing, rolling eyes, whining "but they did X first" or "so&so is always this way to me", hurt feelings. On a rare occasion, it is met with an "ok" and even a change of attitude for a day or two. There does not seem to be any lasting positive effects.

I've prayed and prayed for heart changes in all of us, for us to see others as Jesus sees them first rather than seeing what we want to see, for us to recognize when we are behaving this way and stop it. At this point, it seems nothing is changing. I have faith that God is working even if I can't see any fruits right now. But it's so frustrating when there continues to be selfishness, inconsideration, rudeness, and disrespect.

I thought typing this out would be like a vomiting of the soul and I would feel better once I got it out. But I don't. I feel worse. I need a little quiet time with God.